As Christmas draws to a close, we drift, sometimes reluctantly, back to work, take down the Christmas decorations and push away the plate with the final scraps of Christmas pudding clinging to it, there is a small window of opportunity to share something with you...In the run up to Christmas, Richard Hearn, who runs Paragraph Planet, put out a plea on Twitter for seasonally themed 75-worders. So, inspired, I took it upon myself to write not one but twelve of them.I am very pleased to say that Richard ran two of the twelve, including a particularly dark one on Boxing Day which pleased me immensely. (I used to blog for NewburyToday and used to write equally dark Christmas Drabbles* - but we fell out a few years ago and they refused to run one, which, having refused to run other blogs I'd written, was the final straw for my blogging for that particular site).So, with 12th Night rapidly approaching I have decided to share all 12 of my 75-worders with you, four a day, until Sunday. I hope you like them!
For the record, Santa didn’t “...come to me and say...” He begged, do you hear me, dropped to his knees, sobbing. That’s right, to me, his first born, the outcast. Yes, I could fly like the rest, but my genetic anomaly was to have a nasal cavity that emitted photons at 630nm. Saved Christmas I did, because I can see in moderate levels of water vapour and the rest couldn’t and they dared call me freak!
The old man sat down heavily by the fire and patted his distended belly. “One Billion Calories an’ still only a fifty-two inch waist. Ho Ho Ho.” He pulled off his red hat, patting his sweaty brow with it. “I fear the million shots of whisky may have got the better of me this year!” he bellowed, snorting loudly. Thor shook his head and glared. Letting Santa into the Deity Club had been a terrible mistake.
Under the flicker of white flashes and the pulse of blue from the lights on top of their cars the Chief of Police spoke earnestly into the television camera. “It is true that we have arrested an elderly gentleman in relation to the following charges: No CRB check, animal exploitation, breaking and entering, border crossing without a passport and keeping a list of children who are naughty and nice in violation of the Data Protection Act.” (Published on Paragraph Planet site on December 20th)
Father Christmas Inc (FCI), a Division of Santa Claus Enterprises would like to make the following announcement: After the 15th consecutive year-on-year drop in the number of children classified as “Nice”, FCI hereby declare that the following behaviours will no longer be classed as “Naughty”: Not tidying your room, not doing your homework, breaking something (under $50 in value) and not owning up. However, after some boardroom discussion, outright lying will still be classed as “Naughty”.
Right, if that hasn't put you off, there will be four more tomorrow!
John* A Drabble is a story of exactly 100 words